Crossroads

Two lives, two women,
three seekers of peace:
one gives attention
one serenity.
You pick one and lose
her adoration
the other may turn out
to be a shrew.

Had I Loved You

I have desired you more
and wanted you longer
than anything else in my short life,
but I have not loved you enough.
Not loved you enough to recognize
that you are not me;
your sun does not
rise and set on me;
your dreams and ambitions
do not include me.
I have been at the periphery
of your unshared desires
waiting for your love to arise:
a convenience, an annoyance
a rule maker, a ball breaker
inadequate as a wife and mother
but good for a roll in the hay
when your sun shines.
Life is too short, like me
and the time for remedy is at hand.
Perhaps I have not loved me enough.

The pain goes as deep....you said....

....and I said
The unconscious
where it keeps struggling
to keep the vows we make
as unknowing babies
until we awaken to the Giant
within ourselves
full of joy and bliss
and love for ourselves
so that it spills over
into enough to share
with others
like I feel for you
right now.

Brass

I have spent my life
being loud, strident, trite.
Trumpeting like a swan?
More like honking goose-like.
Of all the ears that could not hear
the deafest one was mine.

Shower

He likes to watch me, unseen,
in the shower
my head, heavy with grief
leaning against the cold tiles
my bulging belly
overhanging with untold secrets
my Botticelli flank
aching from a neglected spine
the clear water
running down my legs
diffused with the urine
of failed surgeries
he touches the curtain
(a passing breeze, really)
to inform me of your admiraton
as he watches me
in the shower
where I stand, unseen.

Coming Home

She is sprawled
half undressed
guileless
her arms hanging over
the sides of her chair
reading, so deep in thought
that putting on the other
half of her clothes
has slipped her mind
I bend over her for a kiss
she holds up a hand
index finger pointing
and I wait. Impatient.

Awakening

The awakening was slow
and late in the coming
so the light would not blind
my unbelieving eyes.