Today I Woke...

I sleep on my side
fetal position
knees drawn tight
to my chest
taking the blows
on my back
protecting my innards

I sleep on my side
mummy in sarcophagus
arms crossed tight
across my chest
holding my shoulders
wrapped in the linen
of nightmares

I sleep on my side
head tucked in
chin drawn tight
to my chest
holding my lips
closed lest they
dare speak the pain

Today I woke
leg stretched out
arm flung upward
head thrown back
resting on the pillow
three quarter turned
smile with eyes closed
a great body shot

Today I Awoke...

Perhaps he would be nine now

nine in some cold uncaring orphanage

or nine in the luxury of some

ritzy suburb

nine years into life

cursing our anonymity

yet longing to know his past

nine now, and soon nineteen

to be parenting bastards of his own.

Would we have broken under

being parents at nineteen?

The real bastards - us.

Thoughts in vain

he didn't even live to see

the second trimester.

A mother - a writer once said to me Do what will endure because she was of love and of good humor because she was of joy and caring for un-met friends. I tried. Now I write and play with my child who knows not of dirty dishes in the sink, unmade beds, bathtub ring, of dust collecting on oak and maple, of records clothed in other jackets, but gives me of herself her toothless smile and sometimes of her oatmeal.

Untitiled

Writing and scribbling
hoarding my little words
a miser could not be greedier
with his gold.

Wild haired, wide eyed
crazy to the world
this is what keeps us safe
this is what keeps me sane.